Going to the chapel
It happened almost a week ago, but I did want to write about the wedding we attended last Wednesday. The story is like this:One of Yau Neih's colleagues, Della, was getting married and, as is the custom, invited all her co-workers to the celebration. It was quite an unusual situation--we had a week and a half notice. A couple of the students had been told to escort us and one of them spread the word. The official invitation arrived two days before the wedding, but by then we had already put it on the calendar.
Actually, I should clarify here. We were invited to a wedding banquet, not any sort of ceremony. From what we've been told, there is no ceremony as we have in the States, where vows are exchanged or stuff like that. Instead there is a whole day of events. The "wedding" starts off early, with events involving the bride's family at their home. What events actually occurred last Wednesday, I don't know. From what I've heard about other Chinese weddings, the mood seems to be quite light hearted. By the early afternoon, the couple head over to the groom's family home for more of the same. Late afternoon--suppertime in these parts-- is the time for the banquet, when all the friends and family are invited. This is where we came in.
A bit before four in the afternoon, we got all gussied up for the feast. We had asked our student informant about the dress code, and she said that we could dress up if we wanted to. I should have taken that "wanted to" to heart. We erred on the side of American culture. The ladies put on dresses and I dusted off my sport jacket and tie. We headed down to the entrance of our building and were soon met by our student escorts. They were dressed in their everyday classroom garb. At first I was mortified. But then I figured, hey, I'm an old geezer now, I should dress a bit classier than the students. Of course, when some of the other faculty members stopped and offered us a ride, none of them were wearing ties, either. So once we were safely seated in the car, I removed my tie and stuffed it in my pocket. I am such a conformist.
The driver left us off at the hotel and we started towards what we thought was the entrance. We were a bit hesitant, because from a distance, Della didn't look like Della. I mean usually she wears her glasses and doesn't wear a white wedding gown. Fortunately one of Yau Neih's other colleagues came up behind us and helped us to get where we needed to go. (I should mention that in the process of hitching rides, we got separated from our student guides.) The happy couple and significant family members flanked the entrance, offering greetings, candy, peanuts and sunflower seeds. There was a lot of candy, peanuts and seeds offered that evening. It makes me wonder a bit, because one of our regular hikers always brings peanuts and sunflower seeds on our hikes. Is she eager to get married or something? But I digress. Once past the welcoming committee, we entered the restaurant. The place was packed, with people dining away. I wondered if maybe the relatives got invited to an earlier seating than the rest of us. I never found out. We were escorted up stairs where there were another two dining rooms awaiting us. If I threw a party this size in the states, I think I might have to sell off the house to pay for it. For all I know, maybe the parents did do just that. Anyway, there were about a dozen or more dishes, along with a few beverages. Everyone ate their fill and then, without ceremony, got up and left. Well, at one point the bridal couple did come up and offered a toast to the entire dining room. But otherwise it was just eat and run. Very strange to us Westerners, where we expect to at least see a kiss or two.
Anyway, we ate and we ran. One of our students had skeedaddled back to campus, the other accompanied us and another teacher to the couple's apartment. Whereas in the States we would hold the entertainment portion of the celebration in the banquet room, here in China the couple takes everybody back home. Well, actually, not everybody, just those hearty souls who want to scope out the couple's wedding gifts and watch them make fools of themselves. You see, as the night wears on, the couple are expected to perform for their guests. It's kind of like "Truth or Dare" without the truth option. Failure to perform to the crowd's satisfaction usually involves a penalty of drinking a shot of alcohol. We had to wit an hour or so before the silliness began. We arrived at the apartment and were greeted with hot tea, candy, etc. We were able to check out the furnishings and look at their wedding album. Again, I was impressed. The apartment was somewhat small but they had some real nice stuff. And a gorgeous view of Qi Shan from their living room window. I would have been jealous, but I knew that in a few years they would be having a kid who would destroy all of it. (Well, maybe not the view...)
Eventually, however, the fun and games began. One of the teachers assumed the role of emcee and the couple amused us by trying to bite into an apple without using their hands and trying to pick up an ice cube with one chopstick apiece. The best schtick, however, was when Mr. Della (I never did learn the guy's name--remind me to blog sometime about how names get used here.) put on part of Della's wedding dress and Della put on his jacket and tie. (Guess I wouldn't have been the only guy wearing a tie...) Thus attired they attempted to recreate for us their first meeting, their first date and the proposal. Mr. Della, especially, hammed it up. Even though I couldn't understand a word that was said, I had a good laugh with the rest of them.
It was about nine o'clock when the first round of games ended. We decided to leave, having got our cultural fill for the evening. A great time was had by all and hopefully it was the first of many happy days for the happy couple.
posted by John @ 1:56 AM
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