A Short Letter Home

You want fires with that?

Well, the culture shock appears to be more like back-to-school blues. But life here in Yunnan continues to be one of learning and adjusting. Last night's example was dining out. Now in the U.S., we understand dining out quite well. There are two restaurant kingdoms: fast food and sit-down. And each kingdom has its own subdivisions. For example, sit-down joints range from family diners to the expensive restaurants that we avoid. (Except for Georgia's, when Balkanarama is playing there.) Now, Chinese restaurants are still a bit of a mystery. While we've figured out a few guidelines--pushcart food is cheap but tasty, a place with an English menu will cost you more--we still have a lot to learn.

Last night we went to a restaurant that we called a barbeque joint. The kitchen, an open-air grill, sits in front of the restaurant proper. We had gone there back in November, when some of our colleagues were visiting. The food was delicious and we decided to try it again. Of course our colleagues are fluent in Mandarin and have years of experience living in China. But, hey, you can't learn anything by sitting at home, right? Ordering was a breeze, since all the foodstuffs are sitting out on a big table next to the kitchen. We got a couple of pork skewers and chicken skewers, and then we saw some skewers that appeared to be beef. What a novelty! (If you had told me last year that I would be living without beef I would never have believed you.) At this point we became aware that we were building an Atkins dinner for ourselves. We tried to remember what we had eaten last time, but all I could remember was the meat, the eggplant (which was way too spicy) and the little buns (which weren't on the table). But Yau Neih was up to the task and found a plate of potatoes and was also able to order us a vegetable soup. So having ordered, we were escorted way to the back of the restaurant to await our dinner.

Our meat courses arrived first. I dug into the beef and enjoyed the grilled flavor. Then I went to the pork and chicken and discovered one unknown fact: our friends had ordered things without peppers. Help, I'm a bug! Still, they were little pieces of meat and still good, so I chocked them down. While we were considering the spicy meat, however, our memories of our last visit began to return. This was an establishment that did not serve rice with the meal. Now I have come to rely on bland rice to cut the taste of anything my toungue considers unpleasant. Thankfully, the soup quickly arrived and the damp greens served to ease my burning toungue. The meat and the soup were soon gobbled up. Yau Neih and Siu Wan went back out front to order more beef and to see if the restaurant had added any buns to the menu yet. About that time the potatoes arrived. They had been sliced and roasted over the grill. Delicious! But--gau ming aa!--covered with peppers. I was at war with myself. How many of those could I eat before my tongue burst into flame? Anyway, we managed to down the plateful and I swore that the next time I would bring my own rice. Or bread. Or ice cream. Something to cut the spice.

Anyway, in the end we polished off the beef, paid our bill and left. We were still not reconciled to the lack of buns, though. Fortunately, this particular restaurant was at the end of a bazaar that was lined with barbeque shops--all having their pantries open for inspection. We strolled along and about halfway down the row we spotted a shop with buns. We went over and ordered two skewers worth. The folks there immediately motioned for us to go into the dining room and have a seat. We declined and by saying the Chinese word for "bag" and using my fingers to sign "walking", we communicated that we wanted our order "to go." They accepted that, but could not quite grasp the concept of American fast food. Instead of letting us stand there to wait for our food, they brought stools out for us to sit upon and a pot of tea for us to drink. It was quite embarassing to have all that fuss for eight lousy buns. Anyway, about the same time I thought that I might have a photo-op, the buns were ready. We paid and then headed home, savoring our toasted bread. Next time we'll check for buns before we order.

posted by John @ 12:33 AM