It's wafer thin
I think that the time has come for me to write a book. No, it's not My Life as an Expatriate Housewife or TESOL Exposed. Our experiences here may make for passable weblog fodder, but I doubt they would generate a manuscript worth publishing. Rather the book that I'm need to write and hopefully make my fortune with is The Yunnan Diet.Soon after we arrived here I noticed a small problem with my pants. They kept slipping down. At first I thought it was due to walking around with a phrasebook and cmaera in my pockets. (Two somewhat bulky items I had never carried with me in the States.) However, I also wondered if maybe i was losing a little weight. I had gotten a lot of exercise in the preceding month packing up our possessions and cleaning the house. So I drilled a new hole in my belt and tightened it a bit. Voila! The pants stayed up. I was quite happy. Anyway, the months have passed and I'm now on my fourth hole. I'm even happier. Other people, however, are concerned.
I don't know why, but suddenly people seem to be commenting on my weight loss. I had three comments today. We met with Rich, our bilingual "boss", who was in town for a breif visit. We were tagging along with him as he visited with some folks in town. These are people we know by sight but with whom we are unable to communicate. Rich conveyed that they had noticed I had lost weight over the months and were concerned that I was well. Then, over lunch, Rich reported that he had met with Thad earlier and Thad had commented on my weight, asking if we were having problems eating the cafeteria food. Finally, we had invited our neighbors, Joan and Michael over for tea this evening. Joan also mentioned that I had shown a noticable weight loss. I'm taking this as a sign that I need to write a diet book to document my success in losing weight and so rake in a lot of money to send my kids through college... or buy a new Mac with some software written in this century. One of the two.
Of course, for you faithful few readers of this drivel, I can give you the secret lowdown of The Yunnan Diet. (Oh, wait, I should ™ that.) (Can I ™ that? Or do I need to ® that first?) Anyway, the secret lowdown on The Yunnan Diet™®©$£¥:
- Put a lot of peppers in the food so you can't eat so much.
- Sell your car so you have to walk to the store.
- Get a small refrigerator and kitchen so you have to shop every day.
Follow this regimen and you, too, can have people think that something's wrong with you.
posted by John @ 8:13 AM
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